Reality sets in....via my MacBook

There they were. Right in my palms, in all their shrink-wrapped glory. A rich navy blue satin gown and matching cap, with a gold and blue tassel punctuated by a polished golden “2011.”

It was beautiful.

But not enough apparently.

I had picked up my cap and gown at school, expecting some kind of out-of-body experience, or a sign from the cosmos, that sort of thing. At the very least, a hint of the realization that in a few short weeks, I wouldn’t have to worry about six periods of finishing next period’s homework, shuffling through hallways full of lust and angst, hiding my cell phone while I text “my mom,” or maintaining a 6.07 GPA and a resume that prompts colleges to foam at the mouth.

I didn’t feel much of anything, until I logged onto my e-mail account and clicked on my College folder. There, an homage to my scholastic dedication was found in “come to our school!!!” messages from the likes of Northwestern, University of North Carolina, Columbia University, University of Chicago, Notre Dame, New York University and acceptance notifications from four of the five colleges I applied to, including the one I chose, University of Florida.

It’s obvious I’m ecstatic about my choice to move to Gainesville come August. My little blue Civic flaunts a Gators sticker and a stuffed alligator hangs from its rearview mirror. Every day, I’m rocking an obnoxiously bright orange lanyard and, often, matching blue UF apparel. But something about seeing these other schools’ e-mails seemed so nostalgic, and I wasn’t sure how to feel.

I slowly checked the boxes next to their chipper subject lines, one by one, feeling bittersweet about what I was doing. I scrolled back to the top, paused, and hit the mass “delete” button, effectively getting rid of my once-potential universities, until all that was left was Florida.

I don’t want to say I teared up a bit at the notion that it is permanent, but that’s how I felt. I took a big breath, looked at the left-hand side of the screen, and clicked “edit folders.” I deleted the label “College.” And typed in its place “University of Florida.”