Disclaimer

I am your worst nightmare.

I am the live embodiment of every crazy chick you've seen in the movies and on TV,

the girl who thinks too much, who runs her own tests, who questions her own judgment, and runs to her friends for help,

the girl who lacks experience and self-confidence and thinks you're capable of fixing it.

I'm that girl, the best friend, the less-than, the better-luck-next time, try-again

I am the girl satirized on weeknight sitcoms, the girl who always comes alone,

the girl who salvages phone numbers, who greedily devours leftovers,

the girl whose heart has a low melting point of sweet nothings and cheap ploys.

I am the girl who closes her eyes before she jumps, and normally ends up beaten and bruised at the bottom of a pit, unable to escape.

I am the girl who has a Hollywood-standard definition of affection, tattooed in neon on every inch of my heart, and believes not in tears that don't pave a path to Prince Charming.

Yes, I'm crazy -- I'm the girl who scares everyone away because I love to care.

I am the girl who just doesn't know what she needs, can have, or truly wants, so she settles with the next-best and hopes for it to not turn out a mess.

I'm that girl -- the one who, plainly stated, knows no better,

the girl who gets in over her head time and time again, all the way in, in hopes that maybe -- just maybe -- I can catch the eye of a hopeless romantic, the kind of sweetheart over-exaggerated in the movies, who opens doors and means all his words, the idealist guys they make up in Hollywood.

So consider this my disclaimer, and read carefully

Now that you know these things, feel free to proceed

because I'm that girl, who makes every hope flee.